“Self”Column: The Art of Living

Growing up, I could never understand why people seemed to be visibly not enjoying their lives. I come from a family that loved celebrating, creating, and being involved with the good things in life, like the outdoors, agriculture, and various public events. These interests always kept me busy. When I was by myself, I loved music and movies; I even cooked and baked. Once I was on my own, I carried what I learned into adulthood. All of these “little things” continued to bring me joy. People noticed the way that I lived and celebrated life; I even recall a teacher who said I lived “very artfully.”
I was surprised because this was just my natural way, but as I developed friendships and relationships, I noticed that some people lived more in a joyless survival mode. At a certain point, I found myself dating a workaholic. I did not change the way that I lived to suit their schedule; instead, I made plans, and we traveled together and always had a great time. I remember my partner commenting that I brought them joy; they said I “really knew how to live,” and I’ve never forgotten this.

Before I go any further, I have some questions. These are simple questions between you and yourself:
– Do you ever relax?
– Do you know joy?
– Do you pursue activities and people that help bring you happiness?

Once you’ve pondered those questions, here are some statements to fill in the blanks.
________ is missing in my life.
________ would make me feel more fulfilled.
________ is vital to my happiness.
________ means the world to me.
_______ _always makes me smile.

The blanks you filled in could quite literally represent some of the missing puzzle pieces of your day-to-day life.

I encourage you to dig deeper if you simply wrote somebody’s name in the blanks. What you’re trying to do here is to seek “what” is missing, not “who” is missing.

Next, can you list 10 things that you love? (Be varied; don’t just list your 10 favorite foods.)

When you’re going through the motions and living simply to survive till tomorrow, that is the opposite of living your life artfully. When my grandmother was having a hard time or going through something especially stressful, she still prepared a lovely salad as the first course of every dinner she served. Even if we just ordered pizza, she would make one, because she knew it brought her joy and kept her (and all of her loved ones) healthy. She did everything with flair; you can too.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, that’s another sign that you’re not living artfully. All of these negatives can leave you in a very bad place, wondering, “Where is my life?”

This feature is not meant to force you to completely overhaul every element of your life, but simply to focus a little on whether you’re enjoying your life. Approaching your discomfort in a soft, non-aggressive, calm manner can do wonders.

Simple changes can restore joy to your life. Here is a list of things that can point you in the right direction and help you start enjoying the little things again.

-Make your bed.
-Buy a small bookshelf and fill it with books you love.
-If you don’t absolutely love your bedroom, buy some new sheets and curtains. Organize clutter and make it a place you want to be. Donate your clutter to charity. Hospice thrift stores are a worthy cause.
-Approach an activity or a hobby that you love with flair. There should be no guilt or self-judgment in enjoying your own life. If you’re a 75-year-old comic-book collector, who cares what everybody else thinks!

West Palm Beach has grown and developed considerably in the last decade. Here’s a further list of things to check out if you haven’t ventured out recently.

-Concerts and live music.
-Theatre and dance.
-Art galleries and art fairs.
-Fashion.
-The State Fair.
-Malls.
-Casual sports, like a batting cage or a golf driving range.

To enjoy “The art of living”, you don’t have to take giant steps, just a few small steps forward. If none of what I’ve written so far is resonating, simply ask yourself:

-What have I always wanted to do that I have not done yet?
-What do I keep saying no to that I really want to say yes to?

Throughout my life, I have been friends with and encountered people who simply like to see other people happy. I’ve known many people in the medical field who are simply there to help others.

At the time of this writing, we are living in a society where more and more people are having a difficult time. If you’ve never volunteered and have always wanted to, this would be a great time to make that move and sign up as a volunteer somewhere. Becoming a volunteer runs the gamut from a simple job, like helping people find their way around an art show, to something more complex, like helping to feed the hungry in your neighborhood. When you volunteer, you’re not just helping the cause you are volunteering for; you are also interfacing with people. When you interface and mingle with people, it gives your own life texture and contrast. The secret to the art of living is sometimes just a few steps from your front door. The other side of volunteering is to seek help if you need it. There are wonderful, inspiring people everywhere if you are open to letting them in.

If you would like to volunteer somewhere, this is a website dedicated to the South Florida region: https://www.idealist.org/en/volunteer-in-west-palm-beach-fl

You can also inquire locally about public spaces that interest you, like hospitals and art organizations. Two of my favorites, The Soup Kitchen of Boynton Beach and PBC Food Bank.